Right Now
by Natalie Williams
Summary: RemusTonks one-shot during the course of OOTP.


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I leave all that to Jo Rowling while I just borrow them.   
  
It's so simple, the way she first notices it. Their fingers brush briefly as he hands her a plate to dry, and the shock that runs through her arm surprises her into dropping it. For once she's glad for her clumsiness. It's something to hide behind as she acts like something didn't just change. Yet somehow, it seems so normal that she has to wonder if she maybe felt this way before and just hadn't noticed. Either way, she can't help but look at him differently after that.   
  
She spends some time avoiding him. She returns to headquarters for meetings, and rarely stays for meals. She doesn't know how to act around him anymore, and she's afraid Sirius or Molly might pick up on it and say something to her. When work for the Order picks up, she ends up working with him often. She doesn't plan it that way, but she doesn't mind. It makes her more comfortable, and finds that she enjoys spending time with him. By spring she's at the house more often, not that she expects anything to happen. Sirius, as much as she loves him, is always around, and he's so desperate for company that they never get time alone. She's content to pretend that's not why she's here.   
  
He doesn't seem to return her affections, but she's not sure she's being clear enough. To her credit, she doesn't blush around him or act coy- not that she would know how to act coy- but she doubts that throwing herself at him would have the desired effect. She is simply there, making her presence known. This is her. When so many people around them know her so well, it does no good to put on an act. He doesn't seem to mind her clumsiness or some of the things that she says without thinking. While he doesn't encourage her, he doesn't discourage her at all, either. It gives her hope.   
  
Then June happens. She's worried the first time she sees him after she is released from St. Mungo's. He looks fine. He doesn't seem different than he did before the Department of Mysteries, and that worries her. He lost his best friend and he should be different. She knows he's standing strong because he's used to that by now. It's what he does. She hopes that never happens to her. She doesn't want to lose everyone she loves, and she's not sure there's another option anymore.   
  
It's his suggestion to give Harry's guardians a warning, and afterwards, they return to the house for drinks. They all need it by now. The place seems horribly empty without Sirius, and she feels horrible for once wishing that he would go away for a little while. Moody, of course, only drinks from his own flask, and does not stay long. At once she both wishes him to stay and is glad that he left.   
  
They talk, yes, but avoid the subject that presses on their minds even more prominently in this setting. There has been a casualty. One of their own has fallen, and none of them can trick themselves into thinking they're invincible anymore. It hadn't even been the work of an Unforgivable Curse...   
  
She blames the wine when she dares to sit beside him, thighs touching. He does not move away, and eventually his hand is stroking her knee, and it's hard to remember later who kisses who first. If it all goes wrong, they'll both falsely promise to never drink again and act as if nothing ever happened. Despite the last year and the fact that she really does care about him, it doesn't matter if it does end up embarrassing and wrong. That's later. Right now has to be for right now.   
  
It's a different story when she wakes up groggy, halfway to a headache and not sure she can look him in the eye. She tries to leave before he wakes up but is foiled by Molly's impeccable timing. Not willing to explain her presence here this early, she makes excuses and accepts the offer of breakfast.   
  
They're having a very nice, safe conversation, mutually agreeing not to talk about why she's here in the same clothes she wore yesterday when he comes downstairs. He doesn't let on that anything is different, and it strikes her how good he is at faking normal. She wonders if he ever lets go, even for a minute.   
  
He makes sure the glances are only for her, first curious, then reassuring. He walks her out when she is able to make her escape, his hand resting almost too long on the small of her back. She knows she'll be back and that he'll want her back, and the details don't need to be decided on right now.


End file.
